Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
