John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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