I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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