Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he puts the penis in happiness.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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