I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
