I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
