so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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