You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize