We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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