Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just forgot I was standing up.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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