I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
