I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
