i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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