We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
