So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
