some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Enjoy the penises
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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