I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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