this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
