id be glad to
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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