Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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