He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
