why didn't you poke me back
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
