i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
