Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
