Nicole vs. Life
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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