Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
