and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
