We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
50% drunk capacity currently
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
