Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
