The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
