So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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