Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sext me about skeletons
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
