Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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