Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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