Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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