Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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