i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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