but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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