Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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