I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
