so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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