3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i will never coherently bang her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
