I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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