I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
