Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
