Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
