The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
