Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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