You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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