Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
