I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
