Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
