Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
