so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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