we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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