ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
