Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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