so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
