Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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