soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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