She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
