Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I look better un-naked...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
